PINQUE
In a school focused on the academic rigor that carries it, many of the skills and talents of Fugenistas are left unnoticed, more so in a city lacking the opportunities to help cultivate such passions. The PINQUE Series aims to bring light to those talented Fugenistas who go far and beyond the calling of an ordinary student to showcase his/her talents for the benefit of others and/or for the sake of the art itself.
Here, our first interviewee, Arianne Jeminie T. Rey, discusses her struggles as a Fugenista, her love for dancing, tips and opinions for passionate dancers, and her major inspirations going forward.
This interview was conducted by EJ Laurel on January 12, 2020 at Future Generation Philippine International School.
Interviewer (EJ Laurel): Alright; good day. This is the first interview of the PINQUE series where we sit down and get to know rising and influential artists from the one and only Future Generation Philippine International School. Today we have a special guest. A dancer, a student, a believer from the FuGen Panthers—today we have Arianne Jeminie T. Rey. It’s good to have you here.
Arianne : Thank you.
EJ: Okay, so, first thing’s first—we want to know why or how you got here in Saudi Arabia. How has Saudi Arabia been to you so far?
Arianne: Uhm, I was already—my parents are OFWs, and they met here in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. And I was also born and raised here, so ever since I was kid it’s been Saudi life since I was little, and then, uhm—I first studied in, uhm, a different school (not FuGen, RIS) for my preschool life, so nursery, kindergarten, and prep. I was in RIS for that. And then I moved to FuGen for grade 1. So, grade 1 until now I’m still in FuGen—I’m a Fugenista. Through those years, I—uhm—I didn’t really have much friends in my elementary life, so I was transferring from one friend to another, and I didn’t have this specific group of friends until grade 3, 4—2, 3, 4, somewhere there. I met my best friend who’s passionate about something which I was, too. So, we got close through that thing which is dancing and music, art stuff. So, with her we went through my whole elementary life, and then—uhm—until now, which is high school. I never really got to experience much in the Philippines, so most of my life is in Saudi. So, I’m more used to the culture here in this country, and—(laughs) I’m sorry.
EJ: (laughs) It’s okay (laughs).
Arianne: Uhm, what was the question again, kuya?
EJ: How did you end up in FuGen, and how has FuGen been to you so far?
Arianne: Ah, well, so far—I mean, FuGen was, to me as a kid, very fun for me because it was a little bit—uhm, it was still a little bit loose until each school year passed by. It became strict. With my batch mates, we learned how to adjust from each period which I think, uhm, affected my personal development, especially in those days, you know, when we were still immature but were acting like we were mature. So, like, grade 6 transitioning to grade 7. So, during grade 6 was when I felt, you know, alone. I wouldn’t say I was depressed like that, but I was in a very, very low state in which I wasn’t able to trust anyone because even my friends turned their backs on me. So, I felt very betrayed; I didn’t know who to trust and who to talk to. So, I secluded myself from everyone until grade 7 to a point that during grade 7 I didn’t really stay in the classroom during break times; so, recess, lunch, I would always be outside the classroom. The teacher had to talk to me and ask me why, and I told her what I was feeling—I felt like the black sheep in class. So, I felt very different from others because I didn’t have this group of friends, and even my best friend during elementary was with another group of friends. So, I felt pretty alone.
So, Grade 7—it was pretty dark (laughs). My mental health wasn’t that okay as well because I was also pressured from academics from grade 1 to grade 6; I was in the honors. So, I graduated elementary as valedictorian. Pressure built up in grade 7 since my parents told me that if I didn’t—if I passed grade 7 as rank one, I would get a scholarship. So, I was really pressured, but I was able to pass through grade 7 as top 1 overall which was great for me—it was a good feeling for me though socially, my social life was pretty bad (laughs). I met friends through SGB, that’s when I started joining SGB, and I met friends outside the classroom and not inside, and also some other levels; it actually became an issue within the classes in our area, thinking that we were planning about something. There were rumors about us when we were just hanging out together as, you know, friends. So, grade 7; that was the time when I thought I needed to know more about myself because I didn’t know where to place myself. So, grade 8, FuGen’s Got Talent was announced.
So, in grade 8 I was able to, uhm, reconcile with my best friends because we had the same passion which was dancing. We were like, “hey let’s make a group.” I suggested, “why not just a group of 4?” So, it was me, Rona Mae Sanchez, Maria Katherine Olave, and Yoana Gail Melendez. So we were 4. The three of us were classmates while Yoana Melendez was in the other section, but we were able to practice together even though we had busy schedules, and though we had a lot of academic tasks behind us we were still able to practice even though it was, like, five minutes before the performance (laughs); we were able to pull through. And even though there were some mistakes on stage, it was a really big impact for the 4 of us because we were really shy. Maybe academically we were really confident, we would answer the teacher and know what we would say, but when it comes to the public, like a bigger audience, we would always just hide behind everybody. FuGen's Got Talent gave us the chance to show what we truly love doing, and we saw the audience’s response and it was great. There was, like, a moment, like, we had a fanbase (laughs).
EJ: A fanbase?
Arianne: Yea, a fanbase (laughs). We didn’t really take it, uhm—it wasn’t serious, the fanbase; we appreciated them, but we didn’t take it like, “oh, we’re famous now.” It was just like, “oh, we learned a lot from this journey.” It improved us individually not only as performers but also as students. Academically though, uhm, personally, since I already had my scholarship, it was really hard for me to balance. Uhm, first quarter passed and I already did lose it because the pressure was really getting into me. And then I also do remember that it was, uhm, science defense and I was really—it was our first science defense so I was really, uhm, nervous. It was our first science defense with (chuckles) Ma’am Leander, I do remember, and she was like the head panelist, and I was really nervous. I started sweating, and I realized I was panicking too much until the pressure affected me physically. So, I was tired, and also I felt physical pain, which I think my parents don’t know until now (laughs); I haven’t told them about it. It was unbearable, but I didn’t really mind it until I told myself, “okay, this is too much.” And I kind of stayed low with my academics.
My parents would always ask me why—what’s this—"why are your grades like this?” I mean, they’re not very low, but for their standards it kind of is because as I’ve said, I graduated as valedictorian in elementary, so my grades would always be the highest. So, they’re not used to seeing scores that are lower than the students in the rank. So they would always say, like—if I would have, like, more than 5 mistakes, they would say some things that would always trigger me because for me it was a good score. I wasn’t like, “ah, pabayaan ko na grades ko.” It was more of like let me focus on me—not academically but on what I want because at that time I didn’t really know what I liked doing. I didn’t even know what were my favorites—I didn’t know who I was (laughs), like, holistically. So, I took my time to just, you know, uhm, to let myself explore and learn. My activities aren’t only in school—I also do a lot of leadership activities in Church—socially, I was pretty okay. My shyness was being gradually lessened as my self-confidence was increasing slowly, progressively. Through that—of course there were some challenges, it wasn’t a smooth journey because my parents aren’t used to that thing, so whenever I would say, “I want to join this,” something that is extracurricular, my parents would be like, “how about your grades? How about your grades?” I would say, “I can do it as long as I want to.”
I mean, I didn’t really go from rank 1, I just—I was a step below, just rank 2. It was okay for me, I was contented with it. I mean, even though I was always top 1, there was always something that was missing in me; I didn’t know what. So, even if I was top 2, I was contented. I was having a lot of fun with my batch mates, and even my non-classmates, even the people outside my classroom. And I met more people who I could trust more than my classmates in my classroom. And then grade 9 , I thought I was going to be better, but actually it became worse. Uhm, my social life was fine; it was still the same. But I noticed how, uhm, my insecurities also began to pile up. So, even in dancing, even though I love doing it, I was still insecure about it because I would always think, “Ah, my friends are better than me, or they practice more and can do better, or their skills are more excellent than mine.” So, it was hard for me to—it was like my very, very sad moment going back into me again. So, ah, there’s that. It was really affecting me a lot, even the people that I was close with, I had bad blood with them. It was like elementary all over again. So, it was worse because since we are older, we have worse problems. Also the fact that my parents weren’t also okay with me. So, it was like my friends in school is also my family and also my family at home is my family—"I’m not okay with both places.” I didn’t really know where to go, I didn’t really know who to got to. I felt very alone.
It was really hard for me to recover. I took me about a whole school year, but even until now I’m still recovering from “it”. I was just glad that I didn’t really do anything that would harm me physically, though, uhm, it almost came to that point but I still was faithful of God and I just prayed that it would be better, like, soon—“maybe not this year, maybe not next year, maybe—I don’t know when.” So—(laughs)—if they say, like, “high school will be the most fun years of your life,” I wouldn’t really say that for mine because, I think, for now the year that I’m enjoying the most right now is this year, which is me as a grade 10 student, though everyone is stressed this year because we’re the graduating batch and we have to pass a lot of things, we have to do a lot of PTs (laughs).
EJ: (laughs) That hits too close to home.
Arianne: I mean, the weight of the schoolwork is unimaginable, but we were, as a class, able to reconnect again. Like, we don’t really have, like, immature arguments. It was like if we fight, then we talk it out and that’s okay, and grade 10 Newton, like my batch right now, gave me a better environment than I had in the past years. And, uhm it’s just sad to think that it might—no (laughs), that it will probably be my last year in Future Generation. And it’s sad because most of my days is spent in FuGen. I’ve found, like, my not-blood-related family here, which I am closer to since most of the time I’m in school. It’s like I go home, just sleep, study, eat, and then go back to school (laughs); that’s like my daily routine. In addition to that, this year I was able to join PISAM, which is an addition to all the memories I have had here in this place. And it’s just hard to think that it will be my last year, like, “ah, it will be my last year.”
So, I have to savor every moment because it’s the last of everything, and I might never see some people again. Maybe I would meet a few, but not all 34 in the classroom, and there were also still some friends there in my batch right now that have been my friends ever since elementary—like grade 2, 3, grade 1. So, for about 10 school years it’s hard to leave this place because most of my memories are here. And, like, even though Philippines is, like, my home country, I still consider this place more as a home. Though it’s FuGen and people say like, “oh, it’s stressful,” which I do agree with; FuGen is really stressful. But it has an environment in which everyone treats each other like family, even if you’re grade 10 and you have a friend who’s in grade 7; it’s easy to connect with them. And I think that’s why, for me, even though FuGen is stressful I would still stay here in this place and nothing would compare in the Philippines when I leave.
EJ: So, you’ve been through a lot here in FuGen; you’ve changed many times and gone through gloomy moments. Now, how has dancing helped you through all of that?
Arianne: Well, as I said when I was going through a very, very dark phase, I had nobody to go to; I had no one to open up to—open up what I wanted to say. I didn’t know to whom to say it, and I didn’t know how to say it because sometimes I just couldn’t understand myself even though—my brain works like a machine, it just processes thoughts over and over again. My anxiety’s bad and stuff like that. So, to calm myself down, I usually just dance. It doesn’t have to be, like, a choreographed dance. The way that I express myself is through freestyle dance, so any song that kind of connects with what I was feeling—like, I pour it out through movement. And I don’t really think when I dance—I mean that doesn’t really make sense—but it’s (laughs) like I move with what I think fits the music which is connected to what I feel; so, when I’m happy the music is a little bit jumpy—it’s a little bit colourful.
When I feel like I’m not at my best, my music is also not in a happy mood. Music was also the thing that helped forget things that I shouldn’t be thinking of because it would not help me—it would not help my mind, or it would not help my heart or anything. Also, in my school and in my activities, it helped me focus more; it helped me think, like, wiser about certain things, especially when it comes to decisions. It helped me become less indecisive because when I dance it’s like, “do want to do this? Should I move like this or should I do that?” So, it also helped me improve on how I present myself in front of people because people just think of me as that person—“ah, Arianne, it’s that smart kid. It’s that kid that always raises her hand in class.” And I didn’t—I mean, it was okay for me but I kind of didn’t want that representation of me. I wanted something like, “ah, Arianne, that’s someone who, like, you know, knows herself.” It’s like a signature. So through dance I was able to put out my own style in whatever I put out there; that’s me. Yea.
EJ: So, you’re a dancer, and so you must be aware of all the stereotypes people have about dancers. So, I wanted to list down a few stereotypes that people have about dancers and I want you to tell me if they’re right or not. The first one is that dancers are very fashionable—they know their fashion, they know how to look good in front of people. Is that true, and does that matter when it comes to dancing?
Arianne: (laughs) Well, a lot of dancers, even on media, are very fashionable because of course as you dance, you express yourself, and another way of expressing yourself is through fashion—the way you dress yourself. And it just goes both ways—as you express yourself through movements, you also need clothes that represent you more. But I don’t think fashion is something that is really needed when you dance; it’s just, like, an addition to how you express who you are. You could dance in your pyjamas (laughs). And that’s okay because dancing is all about the movement, not about how you physically look.
EJ: So there’s that. So another stereotype that’s been going around, at least in my circle, is that you can’t really be called a dancer unless you can freestyle. Is there some truth to that?
Arianne: Uhm, maybe not—not quite. You can be a dancer who’s—because a dancer is not only about, “ah, she can freestyle, so she’s a dancer.” It’s like, if you’re a dancer and you like dancing, and if you dance to how your heart feels and what you want to put out there, I think that’s enough to call someone a dancer because, like, your passion flows through it. If you like how your music goes with it, then go for it; even just a simple jump would do. But then that stereotype about freestyling is—again, it’s a skill that has to be learned. I mean, I didn’t start off as a freestyler, as well. So, I started from learning through, like, K-Pop and stuff there, but I didn’t really feel that genre until I explored more; it’s like in school—you learn as you explore that certain subject more. So, freestyling can be your goal, but it doesn’t define you, like, “if you can’t freestyle, you’re not a dancer.” No, you can learn a choreo, and if you do good in it then you’re a dancer.
EJ: Yea, you have to feel the music as a dancer. Speaking of music, intuition, and instinct, here’s the third idea people have about dancers and it’s that dancers have good tastes in music. So, to you at least, what music have you heard that made you go, “thank God I heard that music?”
Arianne: Uhm, most of the music that I like are the ones with a lot of beats because in terms of musicality or how you move with the music, it really adds a lot to the effect; it’s like, “ooh, popping, popping,” and stuff like that.
EJ: Yea, yea.
Arianne: Yea, but sometimes it’s not always about the beat. Sometimes it takes slow rhythms or, like—it actually depends. But most of the genres that I usually go to I’m like, “ah, I would like to dance to this.” It’s, uhm—I don’t know the exact name of the genre. But sometimes even acoustic songs would do. Even acoustic songs would do, or lo-fi type of music, those types.
EJ: In that sense, music taste is broad. Is it fine to try different things, or is it better to stick to a genre?
Arianne: Uhm, again, it depends on what the dancer wants because most dancers, they—for example, on my part, I like choreographies that are kind of, let’s say, not—I mean, as a girl, you would think I would dance, like, something feminine, or they would say, “you like dancing with your waist and your hips.” But I don’t really do that. Because I don’t feel comfortable doing it. That’s why I stick to dances that can be danced by both—I’m not describing dance per gender, it’s just more of like the style. People, most of the time—most of my friends say, like, “hey, you dance like a dude.” (laughs) Yea, most people usually say, “you dance like a dude.” And I—I mean, I don’t really take it as a criticism because it’s what I’m comfortable with—why not? And I enjoy dancing this genre, and if I want to explore—which is in my experience I did explore the other side. I think it was during the club opening, uhm, during the Indayog performance; I was actually a part of the performance. Before that, I actually had a panic attack because that wasn’t my (laughs) genre of dance, and I’d be facing the whole school dancing something I’m not really comfortable with. But after that experience, I was like, “ah, okay. Maybe I can do that type of genre, I just need more practice.” So, practice is also another thing, practicing on different music. That’s why when I freestyle, my genre of music is sometimes different—sometimes it’s lo-fi, sometimes it’s fast, sometimes slow, so I can explore more movements and I can explore different styles as well.
EJ: Styles are a big deal in dance, and you’ve danced a lot, so it must be the case for you. So, just like in any other art form, you have to take in criticism, and sometimes you feel down after hearing things like that—sometimes you don’t want to do it anymore. For you, what ticks your clock? What makes you go, “I want to keep dancing despite all these criticisms?” What’s your source of inspiration?
Arianne: I think, for myself at least, my greatest inspiration when it comes to dancing is—there’s a lot. But, uhm, (laughs) really there’s actually—no. Actually, no (laughs). My greatest inspiration for me, I think, is of course, one, each audience that would be watching, or the people who would be seeing what I create and what I put out there. Another one I think is from what I watched on YouTube, which is specifically this choreographer; he’s 18 years old. His name is Sean Lew, and I’m really inspired by what he does on the internet because at his age, he was able to teach in different countries, and I was like, “I kind of want to do that, too.” But, you know, as a Filipino kid, I have to work first before I do (laughs)—I have to do the practical stuff first before I do the other things I want to do. So, with his creations out there—with his art form—he could tell his stories, and I think I was like, “ah, I could do the same. I want to do the same thing that he is doing even if it’s not for the followers or how many students in FuGen can see what I do.” It’s like I put it out there as my story and that’s it.
EJ: You’ve managed to push through as a dancer through the FuGen climate, and that’s admirable.
Arianne: Thank you.
EJ: So, what would you say to all the other FuGen artists out there? There are a lot of FuGen artists out there today, but a lot of them are too busy trying to balance out academics and extracurricular activities. What would you say to them?
Arianne: To the artists and creators and others under that category (laughs), it’s okay if you feel insecure, it’s okay if you feel like everything is too busy for you; it’s okay if you are being brought down by all of these criticisms because it’s part of the journey. If you really want to put yourself out there, your passion will drive you to do what you want to do, and even if it’s at your lowest point, sometimes the only thing that you could lean on is what you love doing; even just a hobby could turn into a passion. Maybe you like playing guitar then do so. If you like playing any other instrument, then do so. If you like painting, then do so—it’s your way of expressing yourself. And if you can’t write it down like me, then do it in creative ways. And it’s kind of like a talent that not everyone may have the set of skills that you already have. It’s like, in a way, something only you can do, and even though you have friends that dance or do the same type of art with you, each of you has your own style. Take it from us. When we danced we had different styles, but when we danced as one it’s almost pretty similar. But then we were able to tell our stories through it.
And as an artist, you can not tell your story word by word, because it’s too long (laughs) and it’s—sometimes it’s hard to translate it because sometimes you’re overwhelmed, and sometimes it’s too hard to explain. So, I guess through music and different art forms, you can put it out. So, that’s one thing, and if you are discouraged, take your time. Don’t hurry yourself in improving like those who are already experienced with a lot of things. Always think that you are a student—even if you teach people how to dance, even if you teach people how to paint, even if you teach people how to do things, you’re always a student because as you improve, you learn, and you always learn from someone, even from someone who doesn’t know much; you can still learn something from them. So, never think that someone’s higher. Soon you will be in that place that’s like, “ah, finally, I’m here. This is what I wanted—this was my goal.” And if you are there, share your stories with others. And never forget those people who helped you, pushed you through that, to where you are.
Follow her on Instagram: @_ajtrdance
and Twitter: @rey_arianne
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